There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
