Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
