I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
