My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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