I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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