i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize