Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
