Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
