It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
