i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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