Life is so much better after having sex.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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