I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You don't make any sense
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