How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
