she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
