i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
