I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
