my phone needs a breathalizer
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She bit a glass in half.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
