Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
