I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
