What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize