your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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