There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize