like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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