I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize