Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
