would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
