Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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