Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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