First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize