i permit you to call me
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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