in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
