you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
