after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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