Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
