His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
