U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize