Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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