your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
