So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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