Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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