Sry I called you an 8
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
