everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
