I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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