textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I enjoy the company of your penis
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
