Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Drunk is not a location!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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