Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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