butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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