all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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