My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
