They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
