There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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