at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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