So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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