How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize