New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i think i have herpe
just one?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
