You work out of a Hotel?
North Korea, Best Korea!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize