No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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