she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
