it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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