Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
third nipple confirmed
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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