So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
