And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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