Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
