The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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