I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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