every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
