it wasn't lemon gatorade
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
