I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
