Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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