with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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